There's a song...when you see nothing at all....by many artists......i mean many artist who've done the song but its lyrics start "its amazing how you can speak right to my heart" my baby...its amazing how you can speak right to my heart...

you bring such a big smile to my face in matter of seconds, like just now tonight when i was so down, angry and feeling helpless, talking to you just makes me brighten up...and immediately this song came to my mind, i mean the lyrics just popped into my head from no where, and i was searching my storage of music (which is immense some 9 GB) for this song just so that i can lissen to it, and be soo sooo sooo happy that in heaven an angel took pity on me and descended came to me as you!!! to love me so so so much that you sent my heart into the clouds. that your love wiped away every tear that my eye drops, and the smile on your face brings heaven to earth, the whisper of your voice (even over a very bad line all the way from across a sea) turned my frown into a smile and made me so so so happy...

baby, i love you for being my angel!!! my heaven sent angel!! my beautiful pure radiant angel! my eternal everlasting angel!! i love you for who you are for all that you are and for the universe you mean to me!!!

i've said this a hundred million times, but i cant say it enough!!

I LOVE YOU DARLING!!!

THE POTATO PLATTER

Daisy Rao!!!

What is it with old people and their constant need to reiterate the lives of Daisy Rao and Crazy Pauo? My Dadi is over from Hyderabad, and accepted she has a lot of contacts in delhi having spent over 50 years here, but the almost paranormal obsession with discussing who died and who got married beats all levels of thrill!!!

Its safe to assume that I would know squat about the afore said Daisy Rao, and these discussions are carried on with my parents as the main intended receptacles , but having heard her name dropped over dinner it kinda stuck. Now all she does apart from reading a lot of stuff, is talking about this colonel and that doctor who had so many sons and daughters (usually, as is the case with all south Indian families I have the good fortune of knowing, 7 - 8) And how many of the sons and daughters are married.

This gives rise to the details of the marriage, the discussion on which can be summarized in 1 Line. She/He is married to a hindu? Muslim? any other religion and visa vi if the tables are turned. Then comes the regalia of whether the concerned Colonel and his 7 - 8 children are settled abroad or not. And as is again the south Indian preoccupation with the US of A. It is most likely that 80 percent of the children are living abroad. The remaining 15% trying to go there and 5% in transit!!!

Now utterly moribund it the detailed discussion on whose dying and whose dead and who according to superior knowledge, should be dying but isn't there yet!!! Appended to this is the poor so and so son or daughter that has to wait to move to the US because of either appended death, or expected death or some other calamity!!!

Following this is the luckless Doctor/Engineer/Lawyer/ etc (since South Indians do not take in a big way to many other professions (akash can probably attest to this) ) who follows the colonel in processional pomp ready to destroy my dinner with the concise biography of his/her and adjoined family(usually includes extended family in case of insufficient sons and daughters).

Now the occasional such discussion would have me stupendously amused, however, the frequency of this specially over dinner has me loosing appetite. So Really what is it with these closely linked concentric circles and the demise of my dinner?

Idle Pursuit & (Camel Dicks...........read on...........at your own risk)

and this is typified with me sitting online at 1:34 A.M. blogging? why? i really dont know why.... I cant sleep! So with waiting for people to show up online who are as bored out of their minds as I am and Voting on Orkut polls, Am making the Passage into sleep, till that point where I trespass on the elusive boundaries of dreams and nightmares, or sound dreamless sleep. Thanks to a strange smelling odomos, the mosquitoes are banned from toasting to my blood! So I han hazard sitting with my legs under the desk. Looking at tiny insects on my screen and following them around with the mouse.

As a part of this idlers wile i can wonder at the weird weather, which is truly weird, it was hot and stuff and hour back yet now theres a slight nippiness in the air. Its pleasant but, by the morning im sure i'l be covered with two sheets, and snoring to glory (well figuratively, i dont snore). In the mean while a long inquired gossip is on the verge of becoming public so i'm suddenly woken up with all the arts of persuasion actively seeking a hidden fact!!! With Avril Lavinge, Katherine McPhee, Nelly Furtado and Chris Daughtry alternating on my media player.

The miserable caricature who is the transmitter of this gossip is reveling in the importance of their knowledge which makes a sluggish and annoyed me, want to be snappy with her, but I have to refrain from fear of inopportune-ing my gossip buds, if there are such things, and i'm guessing they exist since Gossip is transmitted through the mouth, Taste Buds? No? Oh Well I'm the Author here, and you have the option of swallowing the Crap I'm meeting out or bugger off. Go ahead choose the cowards way out......

Now that the remaining readers are have self preservatively averted being classified a coward, I shall go on to enumerate these Idle Pursuits in order to attempt to entertain you, with my whinings, (The Bitch refuses to tell) (she is being self righteous and withholding information of national importance!!!) Let me coax my persuasive side into being a little more persuasive before i resort to blatant sarcasm disgusted at self righteous Little ( Large, in this case) bitch!!

Okay so I was holding conversation with my persuasive self and and he tells me its not happening tonight danny, so i proceed to allow my snappy bitchy self to (like the angel and devil war in cartoons) to abundantly curse her, but yet reason asks me to be practical and not call her all the horrible names which are popping into mind.......and the bane of all worthwhile pursuits is the following conversation with my blog buddy....

WARNING: THE CONTENT IS NOT SUITED FOR EVERYONE, READER DISCRETION IS AN ABSOLUTE NECESSITY (this is not a joke, i'm serious)

akash dey is offline.

daniel: dude where are you...wheres the sense in being offline when i need to chit chat aimlessly!!!

Sent at 1:22 AM on Wednesday

akash:
you are indeed vella

daniel:
no its just today..i finished my course for day afters paper and i cant sleep!!!

and arnt you too implicated in the same to be pointing fingers?

akash:
you finished 2 days in advance , amazing

daniel:
not two days...a day...

its not that great really...its english dearie!!

you'd do as much

akash:
i have a chem exam at 8 tomorrow and these spectrospic charts still look like stalactites and stalagmites

daniel:
hmm..try turning them upside down???

what do they look like now?

akash:
i have to make sense of what now looks like ghich pich

ghich pich

daniel:
i would suggest some thing if you would humour me

shud i?

akash:
sure

daniel:
flush it!!!!

akash:
yay!! and then grandly zilch it tomorrow

daniel:
then when the examiner asks wheres your answer you can say its in the pipe!!!

akash:
and so will be my grade

daniel:
no havnt you heard of assistance from dost and yaar

akash:
not. no one cheats in minors. if you're caught a notice appears in every single notice

This is where we were discussing the new traffic fines in delhi and resulting joy sharing which is the following i Like It by Akash;

akash:
i like it!!!

daniel:
yes i knew i would find a sould to share my joy with!!

(note* the reference to sould)

akash:
what is a sould in any case?

daniel:
a soul sold to the devil...

akash:
ooooooohhhhhh

daniel:
like?

akash:
i'm a sould

daniel:
like it???

akash:
yeah baby

daniel:
i know i know!!

akash:
yes i do

daniel:
and guess what!!

I just invented it!!!

akash:
what wat? wowie

daniel:
it will make an appearance on my bog tonight!!

akash:
are u the devil?

can i be that lucky?

you have a bog?

do you have any bog monsters?

daniel:
nah I would be a lesser spawn cant claim such high titles with the existence of ron!! ( a bitch you mite like to get to know in due course)

i would like a bog though!! (bog was a typo for blog)

akash:
aha, there's a bitch in question

i like bitches

daniel:
the bitch is male!!!

lol!!!

akash:
who might this bitch be?

noooooooooooooo

daniel:
you might reconsider!!!

ahha!!!

akash:
noooooooo

daniel:
lolz!!

akash:
hmmph...i almost forgot

daniel:
atleast appears male!!

akash:
for a moment there (for those in the know this is a particularly interesting remark)

but is heart a female?

hmmm...

daniel:
heart is a female? why?

akash:
the eternal question of 'who are we?

daniel:
at heart u mean

?

yes....

akash:
where are we going? and who we want to fuck?

daniel:
eternity however is too long so i cant wait for such answers and thus have to allocate gender and sex at my discretion!!

which is very discernible!!

you would like to fuck ur chem paper!! i think...unless u wana add a 'L' into fuck!!

akash:
i was thinking about using certain parts of my body, but i spose even this is quite acceptable
i would certainly like to fuck my chem paper

daniel:
oh and for the latest piece on my blog..titled idle pursuits i would reserve rights to publish this conversation or bits of it....unless you have objections

akash:
no problemo, i prefer to see it as unravelling the secrets of life, one chat at a time

with no sleep and tonnes of work to do

This is where it gets really disgusting but like i said this is Idleness and hence the devils workshop (please dont judge the best of persons cant do better in my place)

daniel:
there is a horse titted woman..who is not very high on my lists right now!! you can use whichever part of your body on her you like.....

excuse the baseness....

im cranky

akash:
horse tits, never noticed those

but have noticed camel dick

daniel:
they're on the underside...

akash:
they're inverted you know

daniel:
what were you doing really?

daniel:
noticng the camel dick? car ride past the retreating parade?

akash:
yes, noticing the camel's dick no, at leasure over tea.

akash:
lots of camels(and their dicks) in the place i am

*leisure

daniel:
i assume you have 7 lumps of sugar in your tea to get you to such a thrilling all time high!!

akash:
it's still a mystery how they fuck each other

daniel:
umm...i think they are bestowed with humps!!

akash:
probably the female mounts the male and then they go 'humping'

daniel:
they must sweat a lot!!!

akash:
although unless he has a six feeter i can't really get how............

another existential question

unanswered

daniel:
they have long necks i don't know..camel sex isn't a particularly nice topic!!

akash asked how do they (camels) do it

umm..i really dont know....

but i guess they do it like any other quadruped...

2 feet in the air..for the male...

akash:
but thats the problem , their dicks point backwards

daniel:
and a broken back for the female!!

they do!!!!

(aghast)
then how can they!! i dint know this!!

akash:
thats what i've been trying to tell you so far

then willies are inverted

daniel:
maybe they.....you dint say a word and i dont go arnd observing camel dicks over tea!!

they stand ass to ass???

akash:
then judging by the size of the animal, it'll have to be 6 feet

daniel:
atleast i think...

akash:
perhaps thats what the neck is for

an extendable dick

daniel:
thats like the height of exaggeration.....(good for a blow though!! )

akash:
very good for a blow

daniel:
hmmmm.............so then its decided...

akash: t
hough too much sand and padded paws would create a problem

camels arent as adventorous as you

even with 6 feeters

daniel:
they ingest!!! ( Shaking my head eyes wide ) and pray how many adventures of mine have you heard of?

akash:
haha, so you do know about camels.

i've heard enough to go 'whoa'

daniel:
i was speculating given the information!!

hmmm....now i really have to hear if from the horse...(umm lets avoid animals for the remainder of the convo ) the persons mouth!!

akash:
yes animals are brutes

let them be wild

daniel:
we evolved beings must keep them at their places...

call them brutes!!

akash:
here's a nice quote-

daniel:
hmmm...........

akash:
the only unnatural act is the one yo can't perform

daniel:
really!!!

no!!!

unnatural is a perspective!!!

it differs!!

Anyways thank you for your patience one last entertaining bit (i hope) i did away with precious plenty time on your hands in Idle pursuits!! i asked him what does largesse mean for at this time i was still thinking about cursing the afore said woman......and was intending on applying largesse to her prior to which i called him good for nothing when he says even good for nothing is a quality to which i replied with the below.......(read on)

daniel:
hope when you get married your wife/ live in/ b4 marriage gf(s) think the same!!!

akash:
that's what worries me

daniel:
hmmm....marry a camel

atleast you could get good blows....

akash:
i'm not proficient enough in camel sex nor do i have an inverted dick

daniel:
oh break a leg!!! ( MSfusdkfsdf#1052t w4)

if you get my meaning!!

akash:
unfortunately i do

daniel:
haha!!! lol!!!!
i think im scaring myself now!!

i shall take your leave now!!

and thank you with most abundant praise for entertaining me thus far!!

akash:
bye bye

daniel:
and if i do have weird bestial dreams you wuld do well to avoid me for a bit!!

akash:
sure, camel stories for all times

to each his own(animal)

daniel:
check this in my blog...hopefully i dont get censored for this!
cha!!

akash:
once in a while you should spice it up

cya

daniel:
lolz!!

So With this i Give you by far the lewdestly entertaining piece on my blog!!! I hope I havn't offended anyone, and all offence is unintended...please take it in the right sense which is nonsense!!!

The Power of Happy Tears

You know how tears can soothe a wounded soul, how it is a passage of pain and anguish, and how it lulls a exhausted heart to leave its burdens to sleep. Great is the power of tears, but greater still are those tears that stream when you are so so happy. Anyone, who has felt them streaming down unchecked on your cheeks blinding you in blissful joyous happiness, knows waht i'm trying to express.

I say trying because, its one of those things words can never accomplish in eternity to describe. The happiness that words fail to convey is where tears step in, I ask you, if you have that someone special, imagine him/her with a beautiful beautiful radiant smile on their face, you know they are happier than what joy can feel. But imagine the same face, the same beautiful smile, those precious eyes...watering, and that tear single silent yet, potent screaming out its love its happiness, yelling to the whole world that this is when joy is undefined, when it is un encompass-able. Not a million twinkling diamonds in the sky can smile in the same way, that happiness that such a smile brings, its not the happiness of an ordinary smile. Tears, they are a million times thier weight in gold, those tears make happiness worth having. I can not go on ever to describe this joy, this perfect happiness!!

Oh!! god!! ahppiness seems such a insufficient word for for this joy, this beautiful, bursting of my heart, this beautiful beautiful smile i cant get off my face!! this thumping beating heart...this joy is........words fail me, if only i could put my tears here......if only you have felt what i now feel...pure beautiful power of a happy tear.......a unicorn would scarcely suffice to show more purity, and a dolphin, a cute puppy, a little baby, can not evoke such powerful happiness......

The Power of a Happy Tear...the joy of it.......Oh were i blessed enough to share it with you all, but i know i'm more than blessed to experience it.....

Of Victorian Literature....

The frivolous nature in which George Eliot has given over to her rendering of childhood is an appreciable fact. However for her to have rambled on for pages and pages together on the same is quite scandalous to her readers, specially when we are certain of her remaining childless. As a student, I still can at parts relate to her scenes of childhood, ofcourse perfectly relating to The Mill on the Floss is quite impossible unless one is a protagonist therein. The Novel is a fictional account rooted in reality and is very autobiographical in nature, and she can thus go on and on and on with her feelings as a spurned sister and daughter. Being dutiful in the Victorian era was all that was required of a woman, being dutiful thus meant going to church, marrying respectably and having no opinion of ones own what so ever. Society has come a long way from this, thank the fore mothers!! and the suffragettes.

Coming back to the nature of childhood in The Mill on the Floss, is it really as generalized a scene of childhood, as one perceives it to be? Certainly, for Maggie Tulliver to so unconditionally love so unworthy a brother, is as good as Louisa's affectation for Tom Gradgrind, and he is ,bluntly put, despicable. Very ironically i could also conjecture that Maggie's brother is also named Tom, the same as the villainous robber in Hard Times. Before I draw censure on such views i would ask for some patience in reading the rest of this.

Now Two novels can hardly be ratified into a common consensus, but then the generalization i refer to is quite a nomenclature for the scenes of Childhood found in these two samplings of Victorian Literature. For in both cases the sisters are induced by the author to irrationally love a foolish brother, Tulliver a narrow minded stickler for bygone principles and Gradgrind a thief by all accounts. Though Dickens would find it beyond his art to put it in such a way as George Eliot has elucidated, he too claims the duty of the sister in unconditionally loving their brother. The only saving grace is that he is far from rambling on, on just one thread.

Having said this let me now bring in my defense of why and what is it that really annoys me! enter Jane Austen with Pride and Prejudice, and Charlotte Bronte with Jane Eyre. With Austen it is an obsession to get married, considering that she did not get married, so much more the pity. Before coming to Charlotte Bronte I'd like to explain its connection to The Mill on The Floss, Jane Austen refused to Marry rich Harris Bigg-Wither, and moved in with her brother Frank on the death of her father, in Southhampton. Later on she lived on the graces of another brother, Edward at his cottage. By this I hope you have drawn the same links as i have.

Dickens I admire (and this should make my stance very clear) because he has reversed this prodigious economic dependence on brothers in his novel Hard Times. Tom is in fact dependent on Louisa for keeping him in luxury and lethargy. However, her marriage is the means for this dependence. Which again brings me to an irksome point, which I hope will be clear by the end of this, arrived at after a reference to Jane Eyre. the Principle protagonist, the namesake of the novel, Jane Eyre herself, defies the conventions of Victorian Society. Having no family to speak off, she can not take the alternate route all the other women barring that in Hard Times, do (seeking support from a brother). She seeks her own maintenance, through the role of a governess. But eventually in a very sadistically romantic way she is returned to the conformity of Victorian women, the male dependence. Rochester plays out this shelter in Jane Eyre and validates the inferior status appropriated to women. Lastly I came to the last female writer of the Victorian era included in our syllabi, namely Christina Rossetti.

The Goblin Market is a poem celebrating sisterhood, thus circumventing for almost its entire course male dominance, I said 'almost' because just when you thought here is a woman author who is unafraid of societal disdain and had the balls, so to speak, in giving her female protagonists complete authority. The last stanza abruptly brings us to the scene where Laura and Lizzie are MARRIED!!! My irritation now should be very clear. All that is left is to pose a question that annoys me no end.

Why are we studying literature that is called feminist when clearly It appears differently!!! Marriage is the only way out for the Miss Bennets, Miss Eyre, Laura and Lizzie (who I am severely disappointed in) Miss Gradgrind (the only saving grace here for she breaks away from a foolish marriage, thus Dickens is my hero). While Maggie Tulliver is 'drownded' as the novel prophesies through the ominous Mrs Tulliver. There is no Independent Way out!! Even Louisa is eventually dependent on her father.

Lastly I am aware of the circumstances with respect to Educational opportunity women in the Victorian Age were permitted, thus enforcing their dependence. Whom so ever permits this as an argument against my observations, to them I Would only address a referral to the concise life histories of Each of the Authors ( you can look up wikipedia for this purpose), barring Dickens for reasons simple as him not being as embroiled in feminism as the remainder I have mentioned, are. Going into that myself would take up too much of your time, but if you have reached the end of this dear reader, I sincerely Thank you for your forbearance and patience.