The Sponge People
acknowledgement : to my baby, who coined this, and first observed this..u shud be a psycologist...just kidding
So the sponge people, im sure you have come across one in your life somewhere or the other. The person typically classified as an attention seeking person. (now im an attention seeking person but theres a difference) The difference is that while they only seek and seek and seek and ths get and get and recieve attention they never give back.....i give back in equal measure. when these sponge people are depressed you talk about them and them and their problems and make them feel better, and when you are depressed you still talk about them and them and their problems and make them feel better. Litrally soke up all the attention and sympathy you have and give nothing in return. So sponge people..if ur a sponge person...be different....atleast dont be a dy sponge if ur squeesed do give back...best is dont be a sponge at all....
P.s. this entire entry is in italics because its not my idea...its my baby's. im just the hermes over here. but its a very valid point. and baby when you used it "sponge people" u sounded sooooo cute!!! muah!!
Sunday, November 19
Saturday, November 18
Speaking from your heart
Our generation is such that we never talk from our heart, we are superflous people hiding our emotions behind a curtain of big "hi" s and hugs while inisde we are thinking about something not paticularly nasty but still, the warmth in the greeting is only in the mouth. Many i know measure what they say before saying it and its not just a gaurded tounge we measure how much something can hurt someone before we say it. The classic "bitchiness" of a person, that forked tounge behind pearly white teeth.
We can be free in only our relationships saying whatever we want because we can take the love of our life for granted to an extent ofcourse. Weary of what we say to others, even the most innocent of statements, lest they be misconstrued for something damaging to the all important reputation. When you talk to a person, look at their eyes, the windows to the soul. Its when the eyes crincle up with laughter at a joke of yours, moisten up at some hurt you feel, widen at some shock you convey, that you know the heart is listening to your heart.
But how do you tell if a person is talking to you from the portico of their "house" or from where the hearth is. I wouldn't really know. Sometimes the most gaurded person appears to be communing with you at a level beyond what the toungue can afford. And sometimes the voice from the soul is resounding through a gaurded posterior. Its upto your better judgement so see where lie the realities and where lie the lies. I know in my relationship i can say whatever i want, i can speak my heart, soul and mind be it harsh words for which later i can "do penanance" and being a person who is not gaurded or fake i know that all my friendships are at a level where i make "my person" most comfortable, able to speak from the heart. This bulit in nature is sometimes easy to run all over, and its happened people have walked all over me. Once a friend asked me..."danny are'nt you afraid of being so free, and talking what comes to your mind?" this is what i told her and this is what i tell everyone; You only have one life to live, hiding behind an array of walls and fences will only prevent people from knowing and falling in love with the true you, and when death closes the heart it will be words that dont even apply to you that will be spoken over your grave. (When i die i want people to remeber the soul that spoke from within this body of dust, and on its returning to the earth i want only the voice of that heart to beat in the minds of those who succeed me) Live the person you are, who knows you just might make an everlasting mark on some hearts rather than burning an impression of just two or three seasons on everyone. Speak from the heart...........
Our generation is such that we never talk from our heart, we are superflous people hiding our emotions behind a curtain of big "hi" s and hugs while inisde we are thinking about something not paticularly nasty but still, the warmth in the greeting is only in the mouth. Many i know measure what they say before saying it and its not just a gaurded tounge we measure how much something can hurt someone before we say it. The classic "bitchiness" of a person, that forked tounge behind pearly white teeth.
We can be free in only our relationships saying whatever we want because we can take the love of our life for granted to an extent ofcourse. Weary of what we say to others, even the most innocent of statements, lest they be misconstrued for something damaging to the all important reputation. When you talk to a person, look at their eyes, the windows to the soul. Its when the eyes crincle up with laughter at a joke of yours, moisten up at some hurt you feel, widen at some shock you convey, that you know the heart is listening to your heart.
But how do you tell if a person is talking to you from the portico of their "house" or from where the hearth is. I wouldn't really know. Sometimes the most gaurded person appears to be communing with you at a level beyond what the toungue can afford. And sometimes the voice from the soul is resounding through a gaurded posterior. Its upto your better judgement so see where lie the realities and where lie the lies. I know in my relationship i can say whatever i want, i can speak my heart, soul and mind be it harsh words for which later i can "do penanance" and being a person who is not gaurded or fake i know that all my friendships are at a level where i make "my person" most comfortable, able to speak from the heart. This bulit in nature is sometimes easy to run all over, and its happened people have walked all over me. Once a friend asked me..."danny are'nt you afraid of being so free, and talking what comes to your mind?" this is what i told her and this is what i tell everyone; You only have one life to live, hiding behind an array of walls and fences will only prevent people from knowing and falling in love with the true you, and when death closes the heart it will be words that dont even apply to you that will be spoken over your grave. (When i die i want people to remeber the soul that spoke from within this body of dust, and on its returning to the earth i want only the voice of that heart to beat in the minds of those who succeed me) Live the person you are, who knows you just might make an everlasting mark on some hearts rather than burning an impression of just two or three seasons on everyone. Speak from the heart...........
Friday, November 17
Lover knows best
When you love someone, it shows. not just in the physical chemstry between you, the emotional chemistry between you but in the almost telepathetic connection between you. My lover knows me so well.
When i am was down with two lines you can lift me up.
When i need you u call.
You know when something is wrong and i want to talk about it, but dont want to start rightaway. Your my bestfriend in my lover. like chandler and monica!!
There are those times when you are all i need, and there are those times when your all that i know.
When your life revolves around that one person.
and everything you do is special for that one special person
Baby, you are who makes life worth living for me.
im sooo lucky to have you in my life, and i want to spend my whole life with you.
you know best...whether its serious things, whether im upset over silly things and you know best when it comes to just me!!
so i hope and pray the same applied to you. you make me so happy everyday. and i want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy.!!! i love you baby
When you love someone, it shows. not just in the physical chemstry between you, the emotional chemistry between you but in the almost telepathetic connection between you. My lover knows me so well.
When i am was down with two lines you can lift me up.
When i need you u call.
You know when something is wrong and i want to talk about it, but dont want to start rightaway. Your my bestfriend in my lover. like chandler and monica!!
There are those times when you are all i need, and there are those times when your all that i know.
When your life revolves around that one person.
and everything you do is special for that one special person
Baby, you are who makes life worth living for me.
im sooo lucky to have you in my life, and i want to spend my whole life with you.
you know best...whether its serious things, whether im upset over silly things and you know best when it comes to just me!!
so i hope and pray the same applied to you. you make me so happy everyday. and i want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy.!!! i love you baby
Thursday, November 16
Referendum....
Why does Kashmir belong to India? why does Nagaland belong to India? clearly they dont want to be a part of a nation that opresses them. I dont know all that much about the Kashmiris, but i have a nagamese friend who in his long talks with me told me a lot of what goes on there, news does carry it but how attractive is the problems of the North East to us. We are more concerned with Pakistan, Kashmir and the Big ego that haunts the Indian parliament and Government.
The plight of the Nagamese, when the army of the nation they "belong" to, is supressing them, killing their men, raping their women!! How pathetic is this glorious cause of the largest Democracy in the world??
As tribals the North East recieves special economic aid packages, but do we really believe that in corrupted India this is ever going to be delivered beyond paper? India is the 17th most corrupted country in the world! Sitting in the metropolitan of India, Sitting in our homes how concerned can we be to the problems of a far of land? Truthfull not so much. So sitting in their bungalows how concerned are the politicians of India of a namesake state of India?......
Today, we had a strike in college, called by the college students union. Their demands were for a Radio in the canteen, wanted to seat their unworthy asses in some committies the spelling of which they wouldn't know and getting their hands on college funds. The pamphlet was written in a manner which would make a class two english teacher cry, and they wonder why the principle has not taken action regarding their letter. some one should ask them is it possible for the prinicple to understand your letter in the first place. These people claim to represent the students, but its all mr nice guy till the elections are won. Maybe some of their causes have weight but by calling a strike so that people who have come for classes cant attend is hardly the way to go about it. They called a strike recently for the fee hike - by wasting the fees already paid they (calling a strike) hope to reduce the fees. If thats not ironical i dont know what is. The saddest part is we lected and they came to power, now, i would first reduce the blame on myself by saying i dint vote, but by not voting i gave my silent assent to their taking the seat. but the students of the college shouldn't be so blind as to not see how the union is more of a nusiance than a aid. And as far as muscle politics goes i think walking into any delhi university college and talking to the union would give you first hand glimpse of that.
So also the politicians of the country, after all they probably were in some students "union" too. The voice of the people can only really be heard in a referendum but that can be tampered with too and it cant be put past any politician to try if it makes him any the richer.
Why does Kashmir belong to India? why does Nagaland belong to India? clearly they dont want to be a part of a nation that opresses them. I dont know all that much about the Kashmiris, but i have a nagamese friend who in his long talks with me told me a lot of what goes on there, news does carry it but how attractive is the problems of the North East to us. We are more concerned with Pakistan, Kashmir and the Big ego that haunts the Indian parliament and Government.
The plight of the Nagamese, when the army of the nation they "belong" to, is supressing them, killing their men, raping their women!! How pathetic is this glorious cause of the largest Democracy in the world??
As tribals the North East recieves special economic aid packages, but do we really believe that in corrupted India this is ever going to be delivered beyond paper? India is the 17th most corrupted country in the world! Sitting in the metropolitan of India, Sitting in our homes how concerned can we be to the problems of a far of land? Truthfull not so much. So sitting in their bungalows how concerned are the politicians of India of a namesake state of India?......
Today, we had a strike in college, called by the college students union. Their demands were for a Radio in the canteen, wanted to seat their unworthy asses in some committies the spelling of which they wouldn't know and getting their hands on college funds. The pamphlet was written in a manner which would make a class two english teacher cry, and they wonder why the principle has not taken action regarding their letter. some one should ask them is it possible for the prinicple to understand your letter in the first place. These people claim to represent the students, but its all mr nice guy till the elections are won. Maybe some of their causes have weight but by calling a strike so that people who have come for classes cant attend is hardly the way to go about it. They called a strike recently for the fee hike - by wasting the fees already paid they (calling a strike) hope to reduce the fees. If thats not ironical i dont know what is. The saddest part is we lected and they came to power, now, i would first reduce the blame on myself by saying i dint vote, but by not voting i gave my silent assent to their taking the seat. but the students of the college shouldn't be so blind as to not see how the union is more of a nusiance than a aid. And as far as muscle politics goes i think walking into any delhi university college and talking to the union would give you first hand glimpse of that.
So also the politicians of the country, after all they probably were in some students "union" too. The voice of the people can only really be heard in a referendum but that can be tampered with too and it cant be put past any politician to try if it makes him any the richer.
Monday, November 13
Huger.....
The name of a poem we are studying as part of the literature course. this one thing made me wonder what is a good poem to start with. one that you can easily understand or one that makes you look deep and think. It is a perspective ofcourse..moods depend. whether you want to read something like goodbye miss pushpa or huger.
the peom has one one reading nothing to even attract my attention. in fact on a single glance it doesnt make too much sense. ofcourse certain undertones can be detected. but before i tell you the tru pourpose behind this entry heres the poem....for you to read and see what you can make of it.
'Hunger', Jayanta Mahapatra
It was hard to believe the flesh was heavy on my back.The fisherman said: Will you have her, carelessly,trailing his nets and his nerves, as though his wordssanctified the purpose with which he faced himself.I saw his white bone thrash his eyes.
I followed him across the sprawling sands,my mind thumping in the flesh's sling.Hope lay perhaps in burning the house I lived in.Silence gripped my sleeves; his body clawed at the frothhis old nets had only dragged up from the seas.
In the flickering dark his lean-to opened like a wound.The wind was I, and the days and nights before.Palm fronds scratched my skin. Inside the shackan oil lamp splayed the hours bunched to those walls.Over and over the sticky soot crossed the space of my mind.
I heard him say: My daughter, she's just turned fifteen...Feel her. I'll be back soon, your bus leaves at nine.The sky fell on me, and a father's exhausted wile.Long and lean, her years were cold as rubber.She opened her wormy legs wide. I felt the hunger there,the other one, the fish slithering, turning inside.
.......................
.................................
............................................
.....................................................space to think.
what do you think it means. the last stanza should really clear up things for you, but okay cutting to the chase. its a poem of a father and a daughter who are so poor that the father forces his daughter into prostitution just to earn a living. the daughter is supposedly 15 years old right. okay so thats the crux of the poem.
what my point is then, is that this happens today we all know that im sure none of you reading this are walking around with rose tinted glasses. but revolting as it is its the truth. the shocking part is that some people in my class din't even know this could happen. to them it was perhaps a fictional pice of the poets skewed up disgusting mind!
Here we are living ur lives, we see the beggars on the roads, we've been seeing them since forever, we are so numb to their presence. A simple 'aage chalo' dismisses that dusty, hungry, ragged body, i call it a body because we dont even register them as people. We even joke about it in subtle ways with our friends. How many havn't said 'aage chalo' to some one or the other. Are we then by our failure to respond to these pleas of help condoning them to generation and generations of misery? of poverty? 'let the government handle it' right? thats the answer? im not saying give money to every beggar you see. We the poeple are the government, it just needs us to walk out of our ivory towers, a/c halls and take two steps in the truth of India. I write this, i know that these may well be only words for i dont have the time to go myself. but forcing his daughter to sell her body so that they can eat? infact it is hard to leave those words written there on the screen...'its only word' because it leaves negative light on me. i become a preacher without any practice. but maybe if i leave them here they'll nag me enough to go do sumthing on the lines of what i feel right now. Big words should not remain in a hollow voice. I shall help.
and if you know of some one who would read this and devote time to these lost people, ask them to read it, maybe they need that jolt, like mine was hunger. i know some one she already does do social service in the true sense of the term....pria. every drop in the ocean would help.
The name of a poem we are studying as part of the literature course. this one thing made me wonder what is a good poem to start with. one that you can easily understand or one that makes you look deep and think. It is a perspective ofcourse..moods depend. whether you want to read something like goodbye miss pushpa or huger.
the peom has one one reading nothing to even attract my attention. in fact on a single glance it doesnt make too much sense. ofcourse certain undertones can be detected. but before i tell you the tru pourpose behind this entry heres the poem....for you to read and see what you can make of it.
'Hunger', Jayanta Mahapatra
It was hard to believe the flesh was heavy on my back.The fisherman said: Will you have her, carelessly,trailing his nets and his nerves, as though his wordssanctified the purpose with which he faced himself.I saw his white bone thrash his eyes.
I followed him across the sprawling sands,my mind thumping in the flesh's sling.Hope lay perhaps in burning the house I lived in.Silence gripped my sleeves; his body clawed at the frothhis old nets had only dragged up from the seas.
In the flickering dark his lean-to opened like a wound.The wind was I, and the days and nights before.Palm fronds scratched my skin. Inside the shackan oil lamp splayed the hours bunched to those walls.Over and over the sticky soot crossed the space of my mind.
I heard him say: My daughter, she's just turned fifteen...Feel her. I'll be back soon, your bus leaves at nine.The sky fell on me, and a father's exhausted wile.Long and lean, her years were cold as rubber.She opened her wormy legs wide. I felt the hunger there,the other one, the fish slithering, turning inside.
.......................
.................................
............................................
.....................................................space to think.
what do you think it means. the last stanza should really clear up things for you, but okay cutting to the chase. its a poem of a father and a daughter who are so poor that the father forces his daughter into prostitution just to earn a living. the daughter is supposedly 15 years old right. okay so thats the crux of the poem.
what my point is then, is that this happens today we all know that im sure none of you reading this are walking around with rose tinted glasses. but revolting as it is its the truth. the shocking part is that some people in my class din't even know this could happen. to them it was perhaps a fictional pice of the poets skewed up disgusting mind!
Here we are living ur lives, we see the beggars on the roads, we've been seeing them since forever, we are so numb to their presence. A simple 'aage chalo' dismisses that dusty, hungry, ragged body, i call it a body because we dont even register them as people. We even joke about it in subtle ways with our friends. How many havn't said 'aage chalo' to some one or the other. Are we then by our failure to respond to these pleas of help condoning them to generation and generations of misery? of poverty? 'let the government handle it' right? thats the answer? im not saying give money to every beggar you see. We the poeple are the government, it just needs us to walk out of our ivory towers, a/c halls and take two steps in the truth of India. I write this, i know that these may well be only words for i dont have the time to go myself. but forcing his daughter to sell her body so that they can eat? infact it is hard to leave those words written there on the screen...'its only word' because it leaves negative light on me. i become a preacher without any practice. but maybe if i leave them here they'll nag me enough to go do sumthing on the lines of what i feel right now. Big words should not remain in a hollow voice. I shall help.
and if you know of some one who would read this and devote time to these lost people, ask them to read it, maybe they need that jolt, like mine was hunger. i know some one she already does do social service in the true sense of the term....pria. every drop in the ocean would help.
Sunday, November 12
Humming Thrumming in the stomach?
No im not giving you medical advice. No im not talking about a new bird flue virus. No i dont want to mention exams. Yes but its a mention to a similar sensation. The sweeping anxiety that triggers the panic button in us all. You have to remeber the hour before you exam and you haven't even covered half the course. You have to remeber doing something that you know you'll be punished for if your caught. so then with all of that you have to remeber the swooping sensation in your stomach. No? refer to high speed rollar coaster going down with you at the front seat!! Yes? Good. So that feeling, i've been having that feeling all day today. i dont know why. No exam near, not doing anything too naughty, not on a rollar coaster. Infact i've been having that feeling for the past few days. its because of a subconsious decision i had taken, which ofcourse being subconsious i wasn't aware of till about 3-4 hours ago today. SO have i built you up to the level of trepidation i want to?
We'll on;ly people with long hair know what im talking about and im not taling about a girls long hair. I got a haircut!!! hahah!!! it looks awsome!! but all this while i had this felling in the pit of my stomach what if the barber butchers it??? (And...oh!! and...i thot i had a stomach upset so was taking medicine for it too!!!...............for 3 days continuously.....................Enough laughing)
So we have these feelings in the pit of our stomach. That go....hummm thrummm...brummmmm.....well its not a very nice feeling but the next time it happens i shall keep in mind that i've taken some unconsious decison.
Fool for the soul coming up later...keep checking in...byes!!
No im not giving you medical advice. No im not talking about a new bird flue virus. No i dont want to mention exams. Yes but its a mention to a similar sensation. The sweeping anxiety that triggers the panic button in us all. You have to remeber the hour before you exam and you haven't even covered half the course. You have to remeber doing something that you know you'll be punished for if your caught. so then with all of that you have to remeber the swooping sensation in your stomach. No? refer to high speed rollar coaster going down with you at the front seat!! Yes? Good. So that feeling, i've been having that feeling all day today. i dont know why. No exam near, not doing anything too naughty, not on a rollar coaster. Infact i've been having that feeling for the past few days. its because of a subconsious decision i had taken, which ofcourse being subconsious i wasn't aware of till about 3-4 hours ago today. SO have i built you up to the level of trepidation i want to?
We'll on;ly people with long hair know what im talking about and im not taling about a girls long hair. I got a haircut!!! hahah!!! it looks awsome!! but all this while i had this felling in the pit of my stomach what if the barber butchers it??? (And...oh!! and...i thot i had a stomach upset so was taking medicine for it too!!!...............for 3 days continuously.....................Enough laughing)
So we have these feelings in the pit of our stomach. That go....hummm thrummm...brummmmm.....well its not a very nice feeling but the next time it happens i shall keep in mind that i've taken some unconsious decison.
Fool for the soul coming up later...keep checking in...byes!!
Thursday, November 2
Deviations?....
Where does our self esteem go? At times when the world seems to be your play ground, when time seems to be your best friend. Your hot, young, sexy and then all of a sudden you feel unwanted, you feel ugly. it happened to me before, it happened to anisha, it happens to Tej. so i want to know how does it happen all of a sudden, usually we are so sure of ourselves. I know i can make anything look good and if i can do it Anisha can do it a 100 better, and so can my baby. So then why like at a clap of thunder your filled with self hate? Does it happen only to a attention fed person, that when your suddenly alone you fell unwanted? is it selfish to even wonder this? we all have some one who is there to make us feel like the most desirable person on earth if not as yet will some time or later.
When you want that calm reassurance, when you need that satisfaction do you flip through memories? How far can a memory carry you? i know mine can Carry me a long long way. but in the pit of dispair, when you can taste the bitter dregs of loathing and self hate and depression nuthing will hold. just the voice of your lover telling you how special you are, a friend can only do so much. Its the golden pedestial that you need to be set apon. its the wave of love that carries you out of the cold ocean of life. Like the warm rays of the sun on a chilly winter day, its like those welcome breaths of fresh air on a hot day. Its like being in the open. Its like humming in the bathroom. when you fell good about yourself. thats what love can do. Oh baby i miss you sooo sooo much!! I cant live another moment without you. so that i never ever have such a moment when i hate myself...coz i can only love myself when im with you. You make me special, that radiant smile on my face that everyone wonders at, its because your there. those best of moods when i can even love the people i dont like, its becaue you love me so much. When you can sit through a boring class dreaming of you. When the time flys by till im with you, and then it can wind down to a snails pace and yet rush by on wings of angels.
I miss you, i love you.
Where does our self esteem go? At times when the world seems to be your play ground, when time seems to be your best friend. Your hot, young, sexy and then all of a sudden you feel unwanted, you feel ugly. it happened to me before, it happened to anisha, it happens to Tej. so i want to know how does it happen all of a sudden, usually we are so sure of ourselves. I know i can make anything look good and if i can do it Anisha can do it a 100 better, and so can my baby. So then why like at a clap of thunder your filled with self hate? Does it happen only to a attention fed person, that when your suddenly alone you fell unwanted? is it selfish to even wonder this? we all have some one who is there to make us feel like the most desirable person on earth if not as yet will some time or later.
When you want that calm reassurance, when you need that satisfaction do you flip through memories? How far can a memory carry you? i know mine can Carry me a long long way. but in the pit of dispair, when you can taste the bitter dregs of loathing and self hate and depression nuthing will hold. just the voice of your lover telling you how special you are, a friend can only do so much. Its the golden pedestial that you need to be set apon. its the wave of love that carries you out of the cold ocean of life. Like the warm rays of the sun on a chilly winter day, its like those welcome breaths of fresh air on a hot day. Its like being in the open. Its like humming in the bathroom. when you fell good about yourself. thats what love can do. Oh baby i miss you sooo sooo much!! I cant live another moment without you. so that i never ever have such a moment when i hate myself...coz i can only love myself when im with you. You make me special, that radiant smile on my face that everyone wonders at, its because your there. those best of moods when i can even love the people i dont like, its becaue you love me so much. When you can sit through a boring class dreaming of you. When the time flys by till im with you, and then it can wind down to a snails pace and yet rush by on wings of angels.
I miss you, i love you.
Lazy Day......
Our college today was on strike, a glorious, blissful day of sleeping late, breakfast in bed watching T.v. all day long. However, sleep through the day and you have to sit up all night. Guess im going to be online then.
So on request im composing an Ode to my lover. Now im not a court poet ar a ballad'ist. But i'll try.
Ode to My Lover
With the silent whisper of the wind
the touch of your lips
with the golden rays of the sun
the warmth of your hands
The beauty of the moon and all the stars
in the twinkling of your eyes
The Sound of the ocean, its peace
in your presence, in your arms
Songs of the morning Lark
Sent of the freshly wet earth
Sight of a blooming rose
touch of a silken sleeve
Nothing can hold candle
to the way i feel about you
Nothing can enrapture my heart
The way you have, my love
If to paradise i was destined
i'd say its not a place
i'd say you dont need wings
i'd say its a person
My angel, My strength, My Baby
Its you, my life and my heart
My Paradise
(p.s - sorry it doesnt rhyme) hope you love it baby, coz it came from my heart where you are enthroned
Our college today was on strike, a glorious, blissful day of sleeping late, breakfast in bed watching T.v. all day long. However, sleep through the day and you have to sit up all night. Guess im going to be online then.
So on request im composing an Ode to my lover. Now im not a court poet ar a ballad'ist. But i'll try.
Ode to My Lover
With the silent whisper of the wind
the touch of your lips
with the golden rays of the sun
the warmth of your hands
The beauty of the moon and all the stars
in the twinkling of your eyes
The Sound of the ocean, its peace
in your presence, in your arms
Songs of the morning Lark
Sent of the freshly wet earth
Sight of a blooming rose
touch of a silken sleeve
Nothing can hold candle
to the way i feel about you
Nothing can enrapture my heart
The way you have, my love
If to paradise i was destined
i'd say its not a place
i'd say you dont need wings
i'd say its a person
My angel, My strength, My Baby
Its you, my life and my heart
My Paradise
(p.s - sorry it doesnt rhyme) hope you love it baby, coz it came from my heart where you are enthroned
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