catalyst.....

you think the word is only a chemistry word. only sumthing to be sen in a lab. Our daily lives our so full of catalysts, we arent even sumtimes aware of the sudden changes the sudden fragmentation of things around us.

i lost a friend. its not the first time its happened. its probably not the last time it will happen. just all of a sudden out of the blue. but it still hurts. it hurts as bad as the first time when my best friend sent me three messages after a trivial argument. and things turned sour, bitter between us reality check came in with such an abrupt bang that it shocked the hell out of me, and life...life became crazy. Started ignoring the one person you meet and spend all your time with. pretending the other doesnt exist, whats worse all this happens only in a relationship so i guess we were really close friends. Now it happened again!! the worst part is i dont even know what prompted it. he said our wavelengths dont match. I say have oyu forgotten all those long conversations we've had? laughing our heads off, talking serious stuff, just genrally getting bored on the phone or sitting sumplace and chatting away.

People wonder why i get so attached to sumone. i wonder too. it really hurts and then insecurity is just an aftermath. Is this all some kind of test? or some kind of preparation??